By: Janine Serio
PLEASE SHARE IF YOU CAN RESONATE!! Do you find yourself feeling the need to be PERFECT with your nutrition and exercise in order for it to be effective?
I mean, if your meals are not “super clean” and “strict,” or if you are not “working out” EVERY SINGLE DAY, for hours on end, then forget it. You are totally off track!
I mean, THIS IS THE ONLY WAY to be successful, RIGHT (even if it means you are not seeing results)?
Omgosh, the mere thought of a “rest day,” or having a bite or two of dessert, or a handful of your favorite chips, would send you into a tailspin! The “no pain, no gain” philosophy has always served you well and the mere thought of “changing your ways” leaves you scared, anxious, and feeling as though your (current) motivation, determination, and willpower would weaken.
It would leave you feeling like a FAILURE!
Seriously, have you felt this way (or still feel this way)?
Just in case you did not know – honestly, I had NO IDEA before I started doing the research and working on ME – these behaviors have you operating with a “perfectionists” mentality. Yes, this idea of being “perfect” leaves you feeling insecure, disconnected, and, let’s face it, no where close to your goals or even feeling successful.
In fact, operating in this mode is ACTUALLY the opposite of being effective.
I know it sounds a little harsh but it is REALITY…and it is the TRUTH.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have a perfectionist mindset (to a degree). I will openly, admit that I am extremely guilty of THIS and, at times, feel like I have no business even discussing this topic.
I kind of feel like a fraud.
BUT, what I have come to realize is THIS is part of my process. I need to share where I am, and the steps I am taking, to live the anti-perfectionist life so I can reap the benefits of my hard work, BE HAPPIER, and break down those barriers that tend to keep me struggling.
Step #1: EMBRACE THE JOURNEY!
It is so easy to find ourselves getting caught up in how quickly we can get from “point A to point B” that we miss out on everything in between.
As Tal Ben-Shahar explains in his book, “Happier,” these individuals are classified “rat racers;” “suffers now for the purpose of some anticipated gain.” You may be reading this and thinking “wow, this is totally me,” or you, at the very least, know someone who acts in accordance with this archetype.
The reason being is that society reinforces this belief. Shahar states that we have become accustomed to being rewarded, not for the journey itself, but by the means to which it was successfully completed.
For our purposes, let’s view this from a nutrition perspective. I used this same analogy in a recent Facebook and email newsletter but NOW I am giving it a different spin…an even different spin that what Shahar defines/explains in his book.
How many times have you tried to go on a “plan” or “diet” in which, if you follow “x, y, and z,” you are guaranteed to drop a dress size in 2 weeks?
This is PERFECT; you don’t have to think – you just DO – and you are promised to be able to wear those skinny jeans by next weekend.
Here, you are focusing on what it is going to happen in 2 weeks – you can shimmy into your skinny jeans. What you are NOT focusing on is that fact that you are miserable in the process because it is not realistic or sustainable for you.
You have the willpower to see through the 2 weeks yet lack the investigative work in trying to figure out how you can adapt and modify to make it work for you. You arrive at “Day 14,” only to feel a sense of relief and a “weight” (no pun intended) lifted off you.
AND, then what?
You SHOULD feel happy because you are in your skinny jeans YET the very stress of what you just went through, and the deprivation and restriction that THE PLAN set forth, causes you to go into complete “binge” mode.
All of this feeds into the perpetual cycle of “all or nothing,” which continues to feed into this idea that every aspect of your life needs to be PERFECT in order for it to be effective.
I believe I mentioned that perfectionism is the farthest thing from effectiveness, right?
In an effort to shift from being a “perfectionist” or “rat racer,” and pursuing a HAPPIER and more fulfilling life, it has nothing to do with becoming less motivated, less determined, or even lack willpower. Let’s face it, willpower went out the window once THE PLAN was over anyway.
It has everything to do with dialing in on those areas that feel a little too structured or too confined and doing the work to make them feel a little more effortless and a heck of a lot more automated. No stress, no urgency, just time.
Would you agree? Is this something you can resonate with? Do you feel that without certain boundaries and parameters you are destined to fail?
Does an unrealistic & unsustainable PLAN that guarantees you will fit into your skinny jeans in 2 weeks actually provide you true happiness?
I am curious to know your thoughts 🙂 Until next time…
If you liked THIS, you will love our FREE “7 Day Anti-Perfect Mindset Challenge” that will help you PERFECT your ANTI-PERFECT mentality. For more information, and to REGISTER, check out all the details HERE!